Sentimental Hearts

I've been thinking about the mountains lately.  I've been thinking about all the nights I've spent there.  

That's something that I remembered a lot when I first came to school.  Hiking the G at midnight.  We didn't really want to, but somehow we found ourselves together there.

I remember the whispers as we walked, and I remember the lights we saw once we got there.  I remember the leaves and the dark the warm air.

Mostly, though, I remember that we didn't have any words.  Mostly because we didn't need them.  That night was about the clouds and the sky and realizing that this really was our home-- at least for a little while.  

And I remember saying thank you, with every part of my heart.  And I remember wondering if, quietly, you were saying thank you too.

*     *     *

I have this dream that one day, long after I've gone, you'll come back to this place just to see if it really was as beautiful as I always promised.

And when you do, I hope you'll open your eyes and find all of the love and thanks and life here that we did.


-Linds

Talent & Swag.

So, here’s to another beginning!  

The blog has been revamped with the help of my wonderful, and very talented roommate Katie!  

Check her out, seriously though. You can read about our photo shoot and see some of her other work.  I’m in love with it.

-Linds 


  

The Light.

The Words They Gave:

Even

After

All this time

The sun never says 

To the earth

“You owe me.”

Look

What happens 

With a love like that

It lights the 

Whole

Sky.

-Hafiz

“We are unusual,

and tragic, and alive.”

-Dave Eggers

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live life a lot differently.

“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there.  These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box.  It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’  That’s where courage comes in.”

-Erma Louise Bombeck

“When so many are lonely, as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.”

-Tennessee Williams

“There are several ways to react to being lost.  One is to panic.  Another is to abandon yourself to lostness, to allow the fact that you’ve misplaced yourself, to change the way you experience the world.”

-Her Fearful Symmetry

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and the patience for the small ones.  and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.  God is still awake.”

-Victor Hugo

“I looked at her, and knew as clearly as I know I am to die. that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth or hoped for anywhere else.”

-Lolita

“Im going to make everything around me beautiful-- that will be my life.”

-Elsie De Wolfe.

I was reading through my little box of happy today, when I found this:

“ March 18, 2011

  Sometimes I wonder, after one billion years, if any of my thoughts are original. If anything I think is actually a new, one-of-a-kind, Lindsey original.  And I quickly conclude, nope, probably not. 

But, to be honest, I’ve always thought it was more brilliant coming from me."

  And I guess that’s why I write.  You take one adjective on a string and tie it to a noun and somewhere in-between you whisper, “I love you.” and that somehow makes it all ok again.
  
And I write because my world has crashed and it’s been beaten and bruised and left crying alone in the corner. 


And I write because somewhere in that empty, cold space, at some point in time in all that loneliness, I wanted to know that there was still hope somewhere.  And in that bleak abyss it seemed my only escape was to cry out and share that darkness with you.  


Not so you would embrace the fear but so your words could abolish it.  
So that you could say, “Hey now, come here.  Come here, into the light, come here.”  
So that you could say, “I know it’s dark and I know it’s hard, but if you’d just jump one star over you’d feel it, the sunshine I mean, and be happy again.”  


And it’s your words that lead me home again.  


And to me it doesn’t matter if I ever say one original word again.  To me, it doesn’t matter at all.  Because there has been more heart ache in this world then I could ever possibly comfort.  There has been more love than I could ever fully express.  There has been more happiness than I could ever possibly gratify.  And it’s funny because there are more words than I could ever possibly say, and even if I said them all, it still wouldn’t satisfy you.  

And when it all comes down at the end of my life, after all my words have been spent, you’ll all only have really needed to hear one thing:

You are not alone.  I’m here, I understand, and I love you.

Ah, you know that’s right.

-Linds

Baby I like it

This is a happy day and I figured on this happy day I should introduce you to something.  I call it, "Lindsey's 2011 box of happy!" 

It's where I store all of my little joys and laughter and receipts and people and thoughts and memories.  Then I lock them up and save them for the day that my faith slips along with my memory and I need a little extra joy.  I guess the truth is I believe, even if it's just with the smallest part of my heart, that if I hide them away in a box maybe I'll be able to keep, save, and cherish those feelings forever.  Maybe I'll be able to feel all of that joy time after time and remember how blessed I am.

Really, it's just a vain attempt at imprisoning happiness in a cardboard box in my room, but if I really could hold happiness hostage, this is what I'd keep:

*Memories of driving to cokeville!

(The chance that I'll never drive again? Likely.)

* Good lookin' Cowboys & being Indians in the parade!

*Going to dances alone.  Leaving the dance together.

                   

*My first 5K, in the name of David Dayton

*My baby sister calls me, "sweetie pie"

*Visiting USU with my very greatest friend.

*Hiking the Y

*Finding an antiques shop

*Finding all 4 seasons of the OC at said antiques shop.

 *Buying vintage lipstick.. vintage as in old.

The best part being that it looks like this:

*If only you could tell how BRIGHT it is.

*sitting in Bree's garage with them thinking, "Dang, in 16 days all my friends will be off to real life" & "Dang, I'm going to miss this, I'm going to miss them."

  

*cowboys & aliens @ 12:00, did you catch the rave reviews?

*Letters from (honest, beautiful, friendly, fantastic, genuine, happy) strangers.

*Campfires.

*Rainy Summers & apricot trees

*my momma.

*Balloons!!

*Clean sheets.. mmmmm.

*FB Reborn

*Nathan, Jacob, Bronson, Alisha, Morgan, Sarah, Dylan, Nate, Devan, Leah, Josh.  New Friends.

*The Kooks & Coconut Records

*2 AM FB chats & fantastic books.`

* & Seth Cohen, praise the heavens for Seth Cohen.

 [Edit] Praise Warner Brothers for Seth Cohen.

Challenge #4:

Do yourself a favor and save all your smiles the best you can; make yourself a happy box. 


-Linds