openhearts

I took Katie home with me last Sunday.  I drove her all around.  We sat in your driveway and we talked on his stools and I showed her the intersection of 100 East and Center Street.  

Because I wanted her to see where everything happened.  

I wanted her to see where we road bikes and looked at Christmas lights and milked goats in your back yard.  I wanted her to see the roof we wished on and the deck where we played cards.  I wanted her to see the G and hill park and my little, one-step porch.

I wanted her to see the places where my heart grew. 

*** 

One day, you'll trade your little basement bedroom for a window on the third floor, and you'll give up your early morning classes for late night runs.  And you'll see faces you don't recognize, and you'll learn stories you've never heard.   

But, you know, something funny happens when you come to college.

Sunday night dance parties and fires in the canyon change faces you didn't recognize into people you don't want to forget.  

And you'll stay up late telling stories, because no one really sleeps here, and you'll start to realize why she smiles that way.  And you'll hear about past love and happy days and all those times they went to In and Out at midnight.

And she'll listen to you too.  

And it's like, all of a sudden, you'll start to see all of the moments and people and love that made you.  And you'll kiss your thumb after every pinky promise, and fortune cookies will make you sentimental.  

And you'll go to sleep smiling because everything usually works out.  

***

I fell in love with the mountains on rainy mornings, and the way the stars shine brighter when it's warm outside.  

And we all see things a little differently, and nobody's love is exactly the same.

My heart needed that street lamp and hers got that that pretty wooden bench.

And we all see things a little differently, but I guess that's just because hearts don't grow the same.

-Linds

Sentimental Hearts

I've been thinking about the mountains lately.  I've been thinking about all the nights I've spent there.  

That's something that I remembered a lot when I first came to school.  Hiking the G at midnight.  We didn't really want to, but somehow we found ourselves together there.

I remember the whispers as we walked, and I remember the lights we saw once we got there.  I remember the leaves and the dark the warm air.

Mostly, though, I remember that we didn't have any words.  Mostly because we didn't need them.  That night was about the clouds and the sky and realizing that this really was our home-- at least for a little while.  

And I remember saying thank you, with every part of my heart.  And I remember wondering if, quietly, you were saying thank you too.

*     *     *

I have this dream that one day, long after I've gone, you'll come back to this place just to see if it really was as beautiful as I always promised.

And when you do, I hope you'll open your eyes and find all of the love and thanks and life here that we did.


-Linds

Tag.

Looks like I got an award. 

Thanks to miss mandi right here.  You should probably check here out because she’s said some real nice words.  She also reads a lot of real nice words.  Basically, she’s just real nice with a side of cute boyfriend pictures and you should probably check her out right here.


Eleven Facts About Linds 

1.  I recently found this guy, Mike Falzone, from this cute girl’s blog.  I have been watching his videos for days.  So good.

2.  I’m a student at BYU.  I don’t think I ever told you that.

3.  My favorite thing to do is sit under trees this time of year.   The leaves always fall on my head.  

4.  I really like people and grilled cheese sandwiches with raspberry jam.

5.  Pretty words get to me.  More than most things.  

6.  I never really read through these things when other people post them.

7.  I’ve lived in Utah my whole life.. minus the part where I was born in Wyoming.

8.  Forgetting scares me.  So do regrets.

9.  I really like people I can just sit and talk with.  I think sometimes we forget how much we need them.

10.  I’m proud of my family.  Mostly those three little girls.  

11.  I want to be kind, and I want to be happy, but mostly I just want to be like my mama.  

Miss Mandi’s Questions

1. if you could meet any author, past or present, who would it be?


Thomas Payne.  No Doubt.  Have you read The American Crisis?  Read it.  


2. what is your patronus? 


Probably a monkey. 


3. favorite time of day & why?


Have you ever heard this?  

“I’ve always liked the time before dawn because there’s no one around to remind me who I’m supposed to be, 


so it’s easier to remember who I am.”


I like that, and I guess it’s because I like those times too.  It’s that time late at night when I’m all alone, and I lay in my bed and look up at the sky through my window.  It’s just me and the moon, and I like that.  


4. what is your favorite thing to do by yourself?


My favorite thing to do is write the things that make me happy or sad or thankful.  My favorite thing is to write the things I want to remember.  


5. crayons, colored pencils, or markers?

Colored Pencils.


6. favorite quote & what it means to you?


"Live in such a way that people who know you but don’t know Christ will want to know Christ because they know you.”


&

“Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are.”

Because I really believe that.  Both of those things.  People are beautiful, and the truth is you can teach a lot of people about Christ just by being happy and kind.  You can teach a lot of people about Christ just by loving them.  You can teach a lot of people about Christ just by being you.  

7. if you could meet anybody in the blogging world who would it be? (please leave a link.)

Lexi, she’s really great and really cute.  It’s kinda funny because we used to smile at each other in the hallway with that “we totally mutually blog stalk each other” look.  You all know the one.  But seriously, she’s great. 


8. what do you want to name your first child?


Brandon.  Keepin it simple.


9. what is your "go to" comfort food?


Lately? Coasta Sweet Pork Nachos.  Oh... and cafe rio mints. 
 


10. who is your hero & why?


Blake, Mckay, Brayden, Chris. 

Mostly just because I admire that group of boys.  I admire the choices they make and the people they’re becoming.  

11. what is your favorite family tradition.


Sleep overs with the sisters under the Christmas tree.  


So, I’m not going to tag anyone just because I’m thinking that I kinda missed the boat on this whole thing.  But if you haven’t had a chance, you’re it.


-Linds

Learning To Love Again.

If there’s one thing I am for sure, other than starry-eyed and a bit too apprehensive, it’s sentimental.  

I love pictures, and letters, and I save old ticket stubs-- even the ones from terrible movies.  I keep old fortunes, and I guard every note.  I could tell you where I was a year ago.  I could tell you how it felt to live that day. 

Maybe it’s my sentimental heart, or maybe it’s my eyes that can’t seem to forget all the love they’ve seen.  The truth is, I’m not sure where the idea comes from, but I used to think that in order to love someone it took a lot of time, it took a lot of days, it took a lot of ticket stubs.

I still believe that sometimes.    

I’ve been thinking, though, and maybe love isn’t just about how long you’ve known someone or how many BLT sandwiches you’ve shared.  Maybe, sometimes, love is simpler than that.  

Maybe it’s not about the words you’ve said or the tears you’ve shared.  Maybe it’s not about the days.  Maybe it’s not about the time.  Maybe love is just a choice.

***

Sometimes I find myself looking at old pictures that hang on my wall, and I wonder how I’ll ever find people like you again.  

You’ve blessed me, and you’ve changed me, and you’ve been the subject of many thankful prayers.  

Sometimes I find myself looking at old letters, and I wonder how I’ve already collected so much love.  

There are other days, though, when I hear your laughter down the hallway or I see you walking with your eyes toward the sky, that it’s easy.  

Sometimes I don’t need pretty words or a day full of trampolines and “christmas in a cup” to love you.  


-Linds



     

Open.

via

I know this isn’t groundbreaking news or anything, but I want you to know that God lives. 

And I’m not saying that because it will change everything. And I’m not saying that just to say it. 

I’m saying it because somedays it helps just to know.

I’m saying it because once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in the stars.  You’ll see the smiles as you walk and the frost on your window,and you’ll think of Him.  You’ll hear His words and you’ll learn His voice and you’ll smile because you know.  And once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in your eyes.  

Your heart will grow, and your eyes will too, and at some point you’ll realize you’re happy.  And you might not remember exactly when it happened, or how it happened, but I hope in that moment you’ll remember God lives.

Because He has a way of changing things.

And sometimes it helps just to know. 

-Linds 

Talent & Swag.

So, here’s to another beginning!  

The blog has been revamped with the help of my wonderful, and very talented roommate Katie!  

Check her out, seriously though. You can read about our photo shoot and see some of her other work.  I’m in love with it.

-Linds 


  

You.

I look at the sky sometimes, and I wonder how on earth God knew.  

How did He know just how much I would need you?  

Love is beautiful, and love is strong.  And I think it’s been around for a lot longer than we remember.  

I like to think that a long time ago I promised you some things.  Way before we even spoke our first words to each other.  Way before fiddler on the roof and BLT sandwiches.  Way before New Years or last August.  Way before today.  

I like to think that a long time ago I promised you some things.  

I think I found my mama first, and led her by the hand, like she always done for me.  I looked for my daddy, but he was already at the party setting up chairs; he’s always been a step ahead of me.  Then I found Breezy, and told her I’d buy her Panda if she came along.  I found Mckay, and I’m pretty sure all I had to do was ask.  Then I found Brayden, and I’d bet that he took my pinkie and promised me before I even said a word.  I found Lauren, and Haley, and Alley.  They said they’d come if we could watch movies and sleep in the living room after.  

And then I found everyone else, probably some people I don’t even know yet.  And everyone came, and everyone laughed, and everyone was happy.  And then I said, “I’m going to need you an awful lot down there.”  And then I said, “...because you’re my best friend."

I want you to know that you’re still my best friend. And I’m pretty sure I love you just as much today as I ever did.

And sometimes I wonder if maybe we aren’t so much creating new relationships here as remembering old ones. 

-Linds

  

Daylight is My Theme Song

Two years ago today, I went to a party for a girl I hardly knew at all.  It snowed hard, just like today; we walked down the streets throwing snowballs, and we ate ice cream cones at Macey's.  


Two years ago today, I met my very best friend.

I propose a toast,

Here's to our highly advanced taste in music and our superior bass catching skills. 

Here's to eating apples in Van Dijk's class, tres leche at Cafe Rio, orange chicken at Panda, and that awful Frosted Mini Wheats + Peanut Butter combo; here's to a friendship that's been based way too heavily around food.

Here's to three car crashes and one million crazy dance parties.

Here's to 731 days of being best friends.

Now how's about seven-hundred and thirty-one more?  

I'll drink to that

-Linds

Thanks Giving.

Let's be honest-- I've lacked inspiration these last coupld of months.  I don't think it's lost though, it's just tired. 

But there's something about being so blissfully in love-- in love with this beautiful place, in love with these extraordinary people-- that inspiration can't help but to notice.

And it seems only fitting that on this week of Thanksgiving I feel nothing but love and adoration. 

This place I live is beautiful, and I'm thankful for it every day.  Yesterday I sat with my greatest friend late into the night and watched the snow fall.  And I just sat and wondered how any one moment could be so perfectly whole and beautiful. 

These people I have are incredible and I am thankful that I have them every day.  We play in the snow and drink hot chocolate together.  Sometimes we have group hugs and I pray silently.  Sometimes I don't say much, mostly just thank you.  Thank you for giving me this much love.  Mostly I just ask that He'll let me feel so much love forever. 

But sometimes I say a lot and ask that He'll lead them towards all of their dreams, even the crazy ones, and that when they finally get there that it'll be just as beautiful as they had always imagined.  Or at least that it'll be as beautiful as this moment right now. 

And there is a lot to be thankful for. Like my clothes and my room and my car.  But the truth is, right now I don't really care because love is all you really need. And when I kneel down again tonight love is what I'll be thankful for.

-Linds

Good As Waffels

Today was spent eating spaghetti with my best friends, working with the best mama, and looking up worthless pictures on weheartit.com (^see above^)

Life is too good right now.

And I'm free again, finally.

-Linds 

Heavy Boots

8-18-11

"Maybe it's the fact that I've known since the beginning that Monday would have to come eventually or maybe it's the fact that I've wished it wouldn't have to everyday since then.  Maybe it's the way the thunder storms have kept me up every night this week or maybe it's just a relief that I'm too afraid to realize; Have you ever wondered if the fear of being alone is worse than the actual loneliness?

Well, for whatever reason, I was afraid and felt very much forgotten in those fears.  So when he said, "I understand" I didn't believe him, because, really, how could he possibly feel and know all of the fear and hope and love and loss that consumes my every thought?  When he said, "I understand" it hurt.  And when he said, "I understand" I wondered if such a blatant, insincere lie tasted bitter on his lips."


8-29-11

Have you ever sat with a group of strangers and wondered about all of the billions of things that you don't know about them?  You may know their name, possibly where they're from, and based off a split second of judgment you've probably picked up a few superficial, insignificant details that probably aren't true, but, what about everything else?

What about their first love, or that time they realized that everything doesn't go as planned, or why they aren't as happy as they could be? What about those defining moments? 

Forget the group of strangers, what about your best friend?  How much do you really KNOW about them?  Do you know what they're most afraid of?  Do you know what makes them smile bigger than anything else?  What about those times that they were hurt or embarrassed?  Have you ever asked?  Do you think they'd tell you?

It's alarming how many disposable details we appreciate and what little attention we pay to the things that actually matter.  So much of what we "know"  is assumed and so little of what we "know" is sincere.


8-18-11, agian.

"... and I sit there thinking again, and I smile because not one of them knows.  Chances are, not one of them ever will.  They don't know I was late because I was crying and waiting for my tears to dry.  They'll never realize how incredibly alone I feel right now.  Even if they did know, I'm not sure that I'd try and explain because I'm not sure anyone could ever understand and I'm too afraid that they wouldn't to try."


8-29-11, agian.

The truth is, I had a whole post planned about how the phrase, "I understand" is the most frequently told lie.  I had a whole post planned about how superficial and ignorant we are.  I had a whole post planned about how we really are alone.

Yet, here I am, ten days later, and I'm thinking again. 

And I'm thinking that the real truth is, "I understand" is the most frequently told hope.  I think we really do understand, or at least we want to.  We all want someone to relate with, even if it's just so we know that we aren't completely crazy. Maybe the real dilemma isn't that we're alone, maybe it's that we are just too afraid to admit that we're human. We're all so worried about making friends and fitting in and being something we're supposed to be that we aren't honest about what we really are. 

Now go back to the billions of things you don't know. To the billions of things you were either too selfish, or too self-consious, or too scared to ask.  Go back to all of the experiences never documented and secrets never told.  There is more loneliness, and love, and heart ache out there than we could ever possibly know.  How, then, could we be so vain as to think we are ever alone in this vast universe?

I got a letter from someone I admire very much a couple of weeks ago and in it she said this, "... Your words were so delicatly honest and I believe that you can reach and relate to many people with that." 

The key is sincerity, let people in and you'll realize you're never really alone.



I understand.

-Linds.