Happy Sunday.

We talked about Christ today, and she asked me to say all of the things that we've been saying for the past two weeks.  And she asked me to tell about all of the thoughts and words and stories we've found ourselves telling at three in the morning.

So, I thought for a minute, and this is probably what I should have said:

You know, I want to be brave, and I want to be kind, and I really want to be good.  They're little words, but they're big things, and I think about them a lot.  And I walk some days, and I whisper, I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord.  Not because I always do, but because I want to have a heart that follows.

But there are days when I'm not kind and I'm not brave.  I don't always listen, and sometimes I forget to call.  Sometimes, I don't look for the good in people, and somedays it's easier just not to try.  

And you know, my heart isn't perfect, and neither is my love.  

But I want it to be.  

I want my words to be sincere.  I want my heart to be kind and my voice to be gentle.  I want to see the good in others, even though I don't all of the time.

Mostly, I want to look at the world and see things the way my Savior does.  I want to see the hurt that he saw, and I want to see the faith.  I want to find the joy and the love and the talents that I don't always take the time to look for.

I don't ever want to be too tired, or too hungry, or too busy to help.  Because He never was.

And I'm not even close to there yet.  I haven't even left, and somedays that just doesn't feel like enough. 

But I think about my Savior.  I think about His hands and His voice and His heart.  I think about all the days He's protected me and all of the times He's watched. 

And I know that He saw me keep walking because I was too afraid to stop.  And He saw bite my tongue, even after he had given me the words.  And I know that He knows that my love isn't quite enough yet.  

He knows my trials and my desires and the things that make me scared.  

I know He knows my heart.

And sometimes I think that maybe that's enough for now.  Maybe it's enough that I want to be kind, and I want to brave, and I really want to be good.

Maybe it's enough that I try to see the good in people and that I follow the best that I can.  Maybe it's not about keeping score.

And maybe life's not about being perfect right now.  

Maybe, just telling Him that you want to be is enough.


-Linds