Happy Sunday.

We talked about Christ today, and she asked me to say all of the things that we've been saying for the past two weeks.  And she asked me to tell about all of the thoughts and words and stories we've found ourselves telling at three in the morning.

So, I thought for a minute, and this is probably what I should have said:

You know, I want to be brave, and I want to be kind, and I really want to be good.  They're little words, but they're big things, and I think about them a lot.  And I walk some days, and I whisper, I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord.  Not because I always do, but because I want to have a heart that follows.

But there are days when I'm not kind and I'm not brave.  I don't always listen, and sometimes I forget to call.  Sometimes, I don't look for the good in people, and somedays it's easier just not to try.  

And you know, my heart isn't perfect, and neither is my love.  

But I want it to be.  

I want my words to be sincere.  I want my heart to be kind and my voice to be gentle.  I want to see the good in others, even though I don't all of the time.

Mostly, I want to look at the world and see things the way my Savior does.  I want to see the hurt that he saw, and I want to see the faith.  I want to find the joy and the love and the talents that I don't always take the time to look for.

I don't ever want to be too tired, or too hungry, or too busy to help.  Because He never was.

And I'm not even close to there yet.  I haven't even left, and somedays that just doesn't feel like enough. 

But I think about my Savior.  I think about His hands and His voice and His heart.  I think about all the days He's protected me and all of the times He's watched. 

And I know that He saw me keep walking because I was too afraid to stop.  And He saw bite my tongue, even after he had given me the words.  And I know that He knows that my love isn't quite enough yet.  

He knows my trials and my desires and the things that make me scared.  

I know He knows my heart.

And sometimes I think that maybe that's enough for now.  Maybe it's enough that I want to be kind, and I want to brave, and I really want to be good.

Maybe it's enough that I try to see the good in people and that I follow the best that I can.  Maybe it's not about keeping score.

And maybe life's not about being perfect right now.  

Maybe, just telling Him that you want to be is enough.


-Linds 

given much

I've spent a lot of words saying thank you lately.  Thank you for  this place and those stars and my leopard spotted blanket.  And I keep saying, "Thank you for this abundance of love."  

And I said it again last night.  

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, abundance, I mean.  And you know what I think?  I think that there is an abundance of wealth and love and good in this world.  I think that that's the catch we all forget.  

We have this idea that there isn't enough.  So, we need to ration and take and divide.  

But I don't think I really believe that.  I think that there is enough love and wealth and goodness for all of us.  There is an abundance of opportunity.  There is an abundance of love.  

Our trouble comes when we forget that God made enough when he created us.  We're creators.  We create love and wealth and goodness.  

So, if there isn't enough, go make more.  Take all your love and kind words and pretty thoughts and big ideas and faith and equations and goals and desires and ambitions and add them.

There is an abundance of good things.  Thank God for it, and then add yours to it.  

Share your talent and your love and your passion with the world. Find something wonderful, and then smile or laugh or cry because you think it's beautiful.  Do what you love, and then share it with the world. Write it or speak it or yell it.  Lift someone up. 

Go out and look to the sky and find what it is that you have to give, and then give it everything.  

Stop complaining about the lack, and go and create more.   

And the beautiful thing is, there is enough love and opportunity for everyone.  If we all create, it can only get bigger.  


-Linds

New Love

6-24-12

Every summer, I seem to find myself sitting here on this front porch.  It’s little, but there’s just enough space for two people to squeeze on, and I’ve found that that’s all I’ve ever really asked of it anyway.  I look out to the dark weeds growing through the sidewalk and the blue shutters hanging from the house across the street. There are bumble bees next to me, and my feet feel warm on the pavement. 

And I say thank you because I can breathe here.   

Your heart changes sometimes, and so does your love.   

Sometimes you need to remember what it feels like to be alone.  Not because there aren’t plenty of people to be with or because there isn’t plenty of love to be found, but because sometimes you need to remember all the reasons you love yourself.  You are creative and happy and beautiful, and sometimes remembering that is the most important thing.

And sometimes you need to remember those things that make you happy, and sometimes the things that make you happy change.   


Today

It's hard to grow up sometimes.  Mostly because you're not sure what you love anymore.  Noah and the Whale might not always make your heart beat slower and one day you'll run out of late nights spent on the roof.  

Then again, you'll wake up one morning and realize that February is beautiful.  It's nice to see the sun again.  And there are trees everywhere you go, and people smile while they walk.  

And maybe you'll realize late nights spent in a dorm room can make you happy too, and waking up to the snow falling out your window is something to look forward to.  You'll have dance parties every Sunday, and letters come on Fridays now.

Your heart changes sometimes, and so does your love.

But all that means is there's more room. There's room for midnight drives and late night calls and time spent looking out your window.

There's room for vanilla scented candles and Boy Meets World marathons and nights spent dancing to 'Stolen' by Dashboard.  There's even room for the moon. 

And there's room for 18, and 19, and 20... and you can save some of 17 too.

It's hard to grow up sometimes, but it gets easier when you remember you can save your favorite parts.  You can save all the bike rides and concerts and quesadillas you made senior year. You can save 'Buffet Singles Ward Sundays' and that time you roller bladed to Macey's last summer.

You keep your courage and I'll keep my eyes and we can sit on this little porch all night.




-Linds

Open.

via

I know this isn’t groundbreaking news or anything, but I want you to know that God lives. 

And I’m not saying that because it will change everything. And I’m not saying that just to say it. 

I’m saying it because somedays it helps just to know.

I’m saying it because once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in the stars.  You’ll see the smiles as you walk and the frost on your window,and you’ll think of Him.  You’ll hear His words and you’ll learn His voice and you’ll smile because you know.  And once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in your eyes.  

Your heart will grow, and your eyes will too, and at some point you’ll realize you’re happy.  And you might not remember exactly when it happened, or how it happened, but I hope in that moment you’ll remember God lives.

Because He has a way of changing things.

And sometimes it helps just to know. 

-Linds 

You.

I look at the sky sometimes, and I wonder how on earth God knew.  

How did He know just how much I would need you?  

Love is beautiful, and love is strong.  And I think it’s been around for a lot longer than we remember.  

I like to think that a long time ago I promised you some things.  Way before we even spoke our first words to each other.  Way before fiddler on the roof and BLT sandwiches.  Way before New Years or last August.  Way before today.  

I like to think that a long time ago I promised you some things.  

I think I found my mama first, and led her by the hand, like she always done for me.  I looked for my daddy, but he was already at the party setting up chairs; he’s always been a step ahead of me.  Then I found Breezy, and told her I’d buy her Panda if she came along.  I found Mckay, and I’m pretty sure all I had to do was ask.  Then I found Brayden, and I’d bet that he took my pinkie and promised me before I even said a word.  I found Lauren, and Haley, and Alley.  They said they’d come if we could watch movies and sleep in the living room after.  

And then I found everyone else, probably some people I don’t even know yet.  And everyone came, and everyone laughed, and everyone was happy.  And then I said, “I’m going to need you an awful lot down there.”  And then I said, “...because you’re my best friend."

I want you to know that you’re still my best friend. And I’m pretty sure I love you just as much today as I ever did.

And sometimes I wonder if maybe we aren’t so much creating new relationships here as remembering old ones. 

-Linds

  

Nose Goes?

Well, it looks like I've been tagged by a few of you lovely ladies, so here it goes:  Seven Things

(or more accuratly titled: Eighteen Things)

1. My name is Lindsey,

    Linds is better though.

    I like people who call me Linds better, too.

2. Cinco De Mayo is my birthday

3. I have a cat named Lucy

    I secretly like her

4. I have 3 little sisters

    I am the oldest

    I secretly like that, too.

5. I am obsessed with the O.C. and the Office

6. I have one blue eye and one brown eye,

    accompanied by twenty gazillion freckles.

7. I write EVERYTHING down

8. I love to read

9. Words are my inspiration and sanctuary

10. I live to write, and play phase ten with my grandpa

11. I probably speak more fluently in quotes than English

12. I'm not as sympathetic as I should be

13. I admire people,
   
     and I aprecciate people
   
     I like that about me

14. I over-analyze sometimes

     But I guess I like that, too

15. Ever since we learned the trees in biology

     I get distracted when I drive

     because I am always debating on whether
   
     the silver leaf maple is the prettiest,

     or the weeping white birch across the

     street

16. I drive with my windows down 365 days of the year

17. I believe in silent prayers

     and that nothing can beat pictures of your best friends,

     or almond m&m's

18. The one and possibly only thing that I know for
  
     certain after seventeen years: everything is alright




and you are?
-Linds