given much

I've spent a lot of words saying thank you lately.  Thank you for  this place and those stars and my leopard spotted blanket.  And I keep saying, "Thank you for this abundance of love."  

And I said it again last night.  

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, abundance, I mean.  And you know what I think?  I think that there is an abundance of wealth and love and good in this world.  I think that that's the catch we all forget.  

We have this idea that there isn't enough.  So, we need to ration and take and divide.  

But I don't think I really believe that.  I think that there is enough love and wealth and goodness for all of us.  There is an abundance of opportunity.  There is an abundance of love.  

Our trouble comes when we forget that God made enough when he created us.  We're creators.  We create love and wealth and goodness.  

So, if there isn't enough, go make more.  Take all your love and kind words and pretty thoughts and big ideas and faith and equations and goals and desires and ambitions and add them.

There is an abundance of good things.  Thank God for it, and then add yours to it.  

Share your talent and your love and your passion with the world. Find something wonderful, and then smile or laugh or cry because you think it's beautiful.  Do what you love, and then share it with the world. Write it or speak it or yell it.  Lift someone up. 

Go out and look to the sky and find what it is that you have to give, and then give it everything.  

Stop complaining about the lack, and go and create more.   

And the beautiful thing is, there is enough love and opportunity for everyone.  If we all create, it can only get bigger.  


-Linds

New Love

6-24-12

Every summer, I seem to find myself sitting here on this front porch.  It’s little, but there’s just enough space for two people to squeeze on, and I’ve found that that’s all I’ve ever really asked of it anyway.  I look out to the dark weeds growing through the sidewalk and the blue shutters hanging from the house across the street. There are bumble bees next to me, and my feet feel warm on the pavement. 

And I say thank you because I can breathe here.   

Your heart changes sometimes, and so does your love.   

Sometimes you need to remember what it feels like to be alone.  Not because there aren’t plenty of people to be with or because there isn’t plenty of love to be found, but because sometimes you need to remember all the reasons you love yourself.  You are creative and happy and beautiful, and sometimes remembering that is the most important thing.

And sometimes you need to remember those things that make you happy, and sometimes the things that make you happy change.   


Today

It's hard to grow up sometimes.  Mostly because you're not sure what you love anymore.  Noah and the Whale might not always make your heart beat slower and one day you'll run out of late nights spent on the roof.  

Then again, you'll wake up one morning and realize that February is beautiful.  It's nice to see the sun again.  And there are trees everywhere you go, and people smile while they walk.  

And maybe you'll realize late nights spent in a dorm room can make you happy too, and waking up to the snow falling out your window is something to look forward to.  You'll have dance parties every Sunday, and letters come on Fridays now.

Your heart changes sometimes, and so does your love.

But all that means is there's more room. There's room for midnight drives and late night calls and time spent looking out your window.

There's room for vanilla scented candles and Boy Meets World marathons and nights spent dancing to 'Stolen' by Dashboard.  There's even room for the moon. 

And there's room for 18, and 19, and 20... and you can save some of 17 too.

It's hard to grow up sometimes, but it gets easier when you remember you can save your favorite parts.  You can save all the bike rides and concerts and quesadillas you made senior year. You can save 'Buffet Singles Ward Sundays' and that time you roller bladed to Macey's last summer.

You keep your courage and I'll keep my eyes and we can sit on this little porch all night.




-Linds

Open.

via

I know this isn’t groundbreaking news or anything, but I want you to know that God lives. 

And I’m not saying that because it will change everything. And I’m not saying that just to say it. 

I’m saying it because somedays it helps just to know.

I’m saying it because once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in the stars.  You’ll see the smiles as you walk and the frost on your window,and you’ll think of Him.  You’ll hear His words and you’ll learn His voice and you’ll smile because you know.  And once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in your eyes.  

Your heart will grow, and your eyes will too, and at some point you’ll realize you’re happy.  And you might not remember exactly when it happened, or how it happened, but I hope in that moment you’ll remember God lives.

Because He has a way of changing things.

And sometimes it helps just to know. 

-Linds 

Your Soul is Rooting for You

I want to be honest.  

I want you to know that this is hard.  Today is hard.
  
And I want you to know it isn't easy to admit that.

And I want you to know I’m not looking for sympathy; I am already surrounded by love.  I don’t want your worry or your tears either; this life is a happy one.  I’m only saying this because I want you to know that I’m sad too sometimes.  And it’s ok to admit that.  

I’m only saying this because I want you to know that you’re not alone.

You may be in the dark and not know what you’re doing, but you aren’t alone there.  Even when things are hard, and you want to cry, but you don’t because you want to brave more.  Even when you don’t tell anybody, not even your little blog, because you’re afraid of saying, “I’m still lonely sometimes.” 

You’re afraid of saying, “I don’t know what I’m doing still.” 

You’re afraid of saying, “help me.” 

I want you to know you aren’t alone there.  

I want you to look in the mirror.  Look through the misplaced hair and the streaks that stain your face.  Look in the mirror right now.  and I promise that in your eyes you’ll see it.  You’ll see hope.  There’s something inside you that wants you to succeed.  There’s something inside you that knows you will.  Even when things are hard, even when things are new, even when your heart aches; your soul is rooting for you.  There is something inside you that is beautiful and strong. It’s there, I promise.  And It knows how you feel and what you think. And It knows things are hard sometimes, but that you’ll make it anyway.  I promise that you’ll find it there if only you’ll look.  It’s inside you, and I know because I’ve seen it there.  I’ve seen it inside me, too.  

Some days are hard, but I hope you’ll have the courage to keep moving.  And I know that you will, because even if you don’t know it now, there is greatness in you.  And it’s greater than anything that’s ever known this earth.  And if you’ll always remember that, maybe we’ll be able to do something great together. 

-Linds  

Two Cents.

    

     Life is about living, and living entails happiness and sadness and joy and work.  Sometimes I forget the purpose, though, and I think to myself that it's just too hard.  Life is hard, and I think it again.  One day my mom heard my rantings and she laughed a little as she asked me this: Life is hard?  Do you really believe that? 

     She said it quietly, she said it slowly, and I thought.  It took a lot of years and a lot of questions before I realized that life isn't about being hard.  Life is simple, or it could be.  If we chose to smile, to work, to pray, to prioritize, it could be simple. 

      Let go of the things that aren't worth it.  Let go of the hurt feelings and let go of the people who put them there.  Let go and love.

      Do the things that matter, but don't mistake urgency for importance.  If you feel the inspiration, follow it, and if you find someone who needs love, give it.  Some days there are papers to be written and math problems to be solved, but I've found that when you make time running errands for God, He makes time for everything else.

      Live deliberately with love, with strength, with compassion, and everything else will fall into place.  There are bad things, and scary things, and hard things, but He can make them easier.

      Make today worth living.  Do something to make yourself better, happier, stronger.  Be aware and live today with a deliberate purpose and desire to grow.  And as you do you'll find love and joy and a new confidence in yourself.  You'll realize that there are some things that only you can do, some people who only you can bless.  And when you find that new love for yourself, life becomes easier.  It becomes an opportunity to serve and grow.  It becomes happiness, and everything else will work out.  

-Linds

Whole.

"I want to believe that, in a city of nearly three million people, there has to be someone else who sees the world in the beautiful way that I do."  (Postsecret.com) ^^^^^

Well, I do; I see it.

I see the crazy hair and the sunflowers and the girl reading alone in the library.  I hear the birds and the laughter and the telephone ringing.  I see the trash on the corner and I smell the freshly cut grass.  I lay in the fields and i look at the stars, and I see it.  

I see the weeds growing through the sidewalk cracks and I feel a little sad for them and I guess it's because I know what it's like to feel unwanted.  And in their will to flourish, I see it.

I see the railroad tracks and I hear the bicycle wheels as they turn down my little street past my little house.  I smell the cornbread that I sometimes make on Sundays and I smile at the texts that sometimes make me cry because they are so beautifully sincere.  And through their love, I see it.

I hear my sisters prayers and I feel the truth in that classroom as he talks about God.  I see the kindness in their faces and I see the gratitude in hers as they say she's been wonderful.  And I see it in her tears as they fall.

I get angry when I hear them whisper but then I smile because it may just be that God is trying to teach me something.  Then tears fill my eyes as gratitude fills my heart when I remember those people who've changed me.  And it's in their eyes that I see it. 

And my heart changes shape as I think of you and my eyes widen as I watch that little girl touch her hand gently and my ears lingre a little longer on the I love you's.  Every moment I realize His love a little more fully and everything I see becomes a little more clear.

And I want to shout, "I do. I see it."

I see God's hand as I look to the mountains and I hear His voice in your advice. 

I see it, and I realize that there's something beautiful about an imperfect world, and I realize that maybe things aren't always supposed to go as planned. 

And maybe life can be beautiful without being perfect. 

Heavy Boots

8-18-11

"Maybe it's the fact that I've known since the beginning that Monday would have to come eventually or maybe it's the fact that I've wished it wouldn't have to everyday since then.  Maybe it's the way the thunder storms have kept me up every night this week or maybe it's just a relief that I'm too afraid to realize; Have you ever wondered if the fear of being alone is worse than the actual loneliness?

Well, for whatever reason, I was afraid and felt very much forgotten in those fears.  So when he said, "I understand" I didn't believe him, because, really, how could he possibly feel and know all of the fear and hope and love and loss that consumes my every thought?  When he said, "I understand" it hurt.  And when he said, "I understand" I wondered if such a blatant, insincere lie tasted bitter on his lips."


8-29-11

Have you ever sat with a group of strangers and wondered about all of the billions of things that you don't know about them?  You may know their name, possibly where they're from, and based off a split second of judgment you've probably picked up a few superficial, insignificant details that probably aren't true, but, what about everything else?

What about their first love, or that time they realized that everything doesn't go as planned, or why they aren't as happy as they could be? What about those defining moments? 

Forget the group of strangers, what about your best friend?  How much do you really KNOW about them?  Do you know what they're most afraid of?  Do you know what makes them smile bigger than anything else?  What about those times that they were hurt or embarrassed?  Have you ever asked?  Do you think they'd tell you?

It's alarming how many disposable details we appreciate and what little attention we pay to the things that actually matter.  So much of what we "know"  is assumed and so little of what we "know" is sincere.


8-18-11, agian.

"... and I sit there thinking again, and I smile because not one of them knows.  Chances are, not one of them ever will.  They don't know I was late because I was crying and waiting for my tears to dry.  They'll never realize how incredibly alone I feel right now.  Even if they did know, I'm not sure that I'd try and explain because I'm not sure anyone could ever understand and I'm too afraid that they wouldn't to try."


8-29-11, agian.

The truth is, I had a whole post planned about how the phrase, "I understand" is the most frequently told lie.  I had a whole post planned about how superficial and ignorant we are.  I had a whole post planned about how we really are alone.

Yet, here I am, ten days later, and I'm thinking again. 

And I'm thinking that the real truth is, "I understand" is the most frequently told hope.  I think we really do understand, or at least we want to.  We all want someone to relate with, even if it's just so we know that we aren't completely crazy. Maybe the real dilemma isn't that we're alone, maybe it's that we are just too afraid to admit that we're human. We're all so worried about making friends and fitting in and being something we're supposed to be that we aren't honest about what we really are. 

Now go back to the billions of things you don't know. To the billions of things you were either too selfish, or too self-consious, or too scared to ask.  Go back to all of the experiences never documented and secrets never told.  There is more loneliness, and love, and heart ache out there than we could ever possibly know.  How, then, could we be so vain as to think we are ever alone in this vast universe?

I got a letter from someone I admire very much a couple of weeks ago and in it she said this, "... Your words were so delicatly honest and I believe that you can reach and relate to many people with that." 

The key is sincerity, let people in and you'll realize you're never really alone.



I understand.

-Linds.