Happy Sunday.

We talked about Christ today, and she asked me to say all of the things that we've been saying for the past two weeks.  And she asked me to tell about all of the thoughts and words and stories we've found ourselves telling at three in the morning.

So, I thought for a minute, and this is probably what I should have said:

You know, I want to be brave, and I want to be kind, and I really want to be good.  They're little words, but they're big things, and I think about them a lot.  And I walk some days, and I whisper, I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord.  Not because I always do, but because I want to have a heart that follows.

But there are days when I'm not kind and I'm not brave.  I don't always listen, and sometimes I forget to call.  Sometimes, I don't look for the good in people, and somedays it's easier just not to try.  

And you know, my heart isn't perfect, and neither is my love.  

But I want it to be.  

I want my words to be sincere.  I want my heart to be kind and my voice to be gentle.  I want to see the good in others, even though I don't all of the time.

Mostly, I want to look at the world and see things the way my Savior does.  I want to see the hurt that he saw, and I want to see the faith.  I want to find the joy and the love and the talents that I don't always take the time to look for.

I don't ever want to be too tired, or too hungry, or too busy to help.  Because He never was.

And I'm not even close to there yet.  I haven't even left, and somedays that just doesn't feel like enough. 

But I think about my Savior.  I think about His hands and His voice and His heart.  I think about all the days He's protected me and all of the times He's watched. 

And I know that He saw me keep walking because I was too afraid to stop.  And He saw bite my tongue, even after he had given me the words.  And I know that He knows that my love isn't quite enough yet.  

He knows my trials and my desires and the things that make me scared.  

I know He knows my heart.

And sometimes I think that maybe that's enough for now.  Maybe it's enough that I want to be kind, and I want to brave, and I really want to be good.

Maybe it's enough that I try to see the good in people and that I follow the best that I can.  Maybe it's not about keeping score.

And maybe life's not about being perfect right now.  

Maybe, just telling Him that you want to be is enough.


-Linds 

given much

I've spent a lot of words saying thank you lately.  Thank you for  this place and those stars and my leopard spotted blanket.  And I keep saying, "Thank you for this abundance of love."  

And I said it again last night.  

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, abundance, I mean.  And you know what I think?  I think that there is an abundance of wealth and love and good in this world.  I think that that's the catch we all forget.  

We have this idea that there isn't enough.  So, we need to ration and take and divide.  

But I don't think I really believe that.  I think that there is enough love and wealth and goodness for all of us.  There is an abundance of opportunity.  There is an abundance of love.  

Our trouble comes when we forget that God made enough when he created us.  We're creators.  We create love and wealth and goodness.  

So, if there isn't enough, go make more.  Take all your love and kind words and pretty thoughts and big ideas and faith and equations and goals and desires and ambitions and add them.

There is an abundance of good things.  Thank God for it, and then add yours to it.  

Share your talent and your love and your passion with the world. Find something wonderful, and then smile or laugh or cry because you think it's beautiful.  Do what you love, and then share it with the world. Write it or speak it or yell it.  Lift someone up. 

Go out and look to the sky and find what it is that you have to give, and then give it everything.  

Stop complaining about the lack, and go and create more.   

And the beautiful thing is, there is enough love and opportunity for everyone.  If we all create, it can only get bigger.  


-Linds

( For You )

 If I were to write a book, I'd write about that tree outside my window.  I'd write about watching the snow fall and reading in the leaves.  I'd write about playing basketball that day and how it was so beautiful that I still go there in my head sometimes.  

I'd write about that day we went sledding and midnight hikes and that time they asked me about the perfect day and I just smiled because I've already lived so many perfect ones with you.

I'd write about the leaves that fell last fall and waiting for the snow to melt.  I'd write about the new things and the old things and the way I was happy then... the way I'm happy now.

I'd tell you to say thank you more often and to write more things down.  I'd tell you to remember the important things and to have faith in the small ones.

If I were to write a book, I'd call it Prayers from the Bathroom Floor, because to me that's what life is.  It's winter days and summer nights and hiding behind a wooden fence just to look up at the stars and say thank you.   

And I love that.  

If I were to write a book, I'd dedicate it to you, with your sarcastic jokes and overwhelming faith.  I'd dedicate it to the days that go to quick and the nights that will last forever.  I'd dedicate it to the smiles and the insecurities and the happy struggles I'll never forget.

And I'm not there yet, but one day I'll write a book.  Because God has given me so many beautiful days, and your eyes are too bright to forget.  

-Linds

Open.

via

I know this isn’t groundbreaking news or anything, but I want you to know that God lives. 

And I’m not saying that because it will change everything. And I’m not saying that just to say it. 

I’m saying it because somedays it helps just to know.

I’m saying it because once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in the stars.  You’ll see the smiles as you walk and the frost on your window,and you’ll think of Him.  You’ll hear His words and you’ll learn His voice and you’ll smile because you know.  And once you know you’ll look for Him, and you’ll find Him in your eyes.  

Your heart will grow, and your eyes will too, and at some point you’ll realize you’re happy.  And you might not remember exactly when it happened, or how it happened, but I hope in that moment you’ll remember God lives.

Because He has a way of changing things.

And sometimes it helps just to know. 

-Linds 

only threehundredandsixtyfivedays away

One year from now, I hope to be here once again--lying on my light green bedspread, looking at the Christmas lights that hang above my window--thinking about who I've become.

I hope then to look in the mirror just to tell myself once more that God knew exactly where He was taking me all along.

I hope that I'll look at my hair since grown and my countenance since brightened just to realize what I've always had a hard time believing--even my happiest days will get happier.

I hope to look back on twenty-twelve with such love and gratitude toward who I've become and all of the people who've made me that way.  I hope that I'm still listening to Noah and the Whale because of the way they make my heart beat a little slower.  I hope that my smile is just as wide and that I don't lose too much of the person I've become.  Except maybe the way I bite my nails when I'm nervous or the way I sometimes forget to say, I love you.  

Yes, I hope to be better, greater, smarter, kinder, but I like who I am, too.  I like the way I see the moon and the stars shining in the sky at night.  I like the way I feel close to people even when I don't really know them. And I don't think I could bare to lose that.

I hope to look and smile at the person I've become.  

Til then, I'll savor every smile and tear and breath I get this year.  Sitting here, thinking, I'm already filled with an overwhelming excitement toward my future.  And despite the astonishing amount of tears, and goodbyes, and, "I will remember you forever's" I see in my near future, I know I'm so incredibly blessed to feel this way.  

I expect tears and an ache in my stomach when I leave you, because, really, you're the only life I've ever known and you've been good to me.  My God has been good to me.

And I guess as long as I really believe that I have to believe that He'll take care of tomorrow, too.  And I guess when you really begin to believe that, there's no more room for fear. 

Cheers.

-Linds

I Really Can't Stay.

                                          

                                    

I sit in sacrament, and I watch the first snow fall, 
and all I really want to do is go and touch the cold glass. 
I want my fingers to freeze and I want to see my breathe; it makes me feel a little more alive. 
I want to pray, and I want to really feel something. 
I want to feel the goose bumps on my arms and the snowflakes on my eyelashes. 
I want to watch the earth and the snow covered trees.

And I'll sit, and I'll feel, and I'll love. 
Because there's something about the seasons changing that really gets to me. 
Especially this one, because this time it's not so much about me, but Him. 
And we have the next twelve days to give to Him,
and I'm so grateful for that.

And I hope that everytime your socks are wet from the puddles of lost snowflakes, that you'll remember Him. 
I hope that every present you wrap and every light you see, inspires you to be better for Him.  
I hope that you'll drink hot chocolate with your best friends and that you'll be happy while doing it, because that's exactly what He would hope for you, too.

And I hope that you'll remember Christ this Christmas.

-Linds